I heard two funny stories this weekend which inspired me to write this piece.
First one- A lady and a man went out on a date to a restaurant, the man ordered a drink, the lady asked for juice. Upon bringing the juice to the table, the guy told the lady to return his drink that he'll share the juice with the babe who by now had also ordered something to eat.
The guy asked the waitress if their POS terminal was working and she said no. Few minutes later the waitress took the food to the lady but she told her to hold on to it for a few minutes that the guy had stepped out to go withdraw money from the ATM. Twenty minutes later the waitress returned to the table to find the girl still nursing her glass of juice and the dude still wasn't back.
The waitress went ahead to ask if all was well because her food was getting cold. At this point the lady confided that she didn't think the guy was coming back because prior to ordering her food, he had requested that she go up to one of the guest rooms in the place with him and she declined. The food was 2,000, her juice 500 naira- total of 2,500. She had only 1000 with her so she pleaded with the restaurant manager to allow her pay for the juice alone saying that she'll need the 500 naira change to catch a bus back home.....they obliged her so she paid 500 naira and left the restaurant in tears. Apparently she wasn't familiar with the area and it was almost 11pm.
The second story is kinda similar except that the lady had already dug into her food and had even ordered food to take away when she realized the dude who went to pee was taking too long. She asked the waiter where the gents was and went there searching for him but couldn't find him. She rang his phone but it was switched off.
It was reported that she went back to her table to finish her food before going outside to search for the guy with the already suspicious waiter in tow of course. The restaurant security then confirmed that the dude had driven off almost 30 minutes prior. The girl didn't have a kobo on her, she wasn't even carrying a hand bag and was wearing a dress with no pockets. Her bill was over 6k which included the unfinished bottle of beer the guy had been drinking before he left so the waiter seized her Samsung phone. She came back the next day to pay up and retrieve her phone. It was gathered that the guy had been on her case for such a long time and when she finally accepted to go out with him, he decided to show her 'pepper'.
Na wa! I never knew people still do stuff like this. But the babe sef worry.... on the first date you order food finish carry take away join. Doesn't that make you come across as cheap?
This brings me to the title of this post- 'vex money'- I'm not sure if they still call it that, but that's what we called it in my uni days. Vex money is the insurance money you carry with you when going out on a date with a guy especially one who you don't know very well. So it's applicable on the first and second date and sometimes the third date. Your vex money must be enough to cover your transport fare back home, it should also be enough to cover whatever you are going to order so if you know say your vex money no plenty, order light. If you don't have vex money, borrow from a friend, you can always return it if you don't end up using it but make sure you always carry vex money.
Back in uni, a guy once left my friend in the middle of nowhere because she refused to go to second base while they were making out in the car. Dude begged and begged but my girl refused so he told her to get out of his car. She thought he was joking until he opened the door and pushed her out then drove off. The silly girl actually waited there for about fifteen minutes hoping he'll come back for her- she didn't want to believe anyone would be that callous because of sex (not after you gave him blue balls hon). When he didn't return, she walked over one hour back to school. She had no money on her to take a bus and didn't even have the amount cabs were charging her in the hostel. So my girl trek for one hour. Thank God Naija was still relatively safe back then.
Why will a woman go out on a date with a guy she's not too familiar with and be ordering food like she hasn't eaten in weeks. Some will order take away for the people wey dey house sef....and after all these when time reach for 'activity' you no go gree do??? Mind you, I'm not encouraging ladies to put out on the first date, but be financially equipped to call the guys bluff and find your way out of a potentially embarrassing situation.
I have male friends who have experienced this on their first or second dates. They say they never called the girl back. And the girl will be wondering what she did wrong.... Am I not hot enough? Didn't I dress well enough? I spoke intelligently na? "He seemed to like me, we got on really well" .....you ask yourself endless questions wondering why that hot dude you were beginning to fall for never called you back.
Well, respect and intrigue are key things that keep a man coming back. When you don fall your hand finish how do you expect him to come back?
I guess the issue of vex money has been made easier in Naija through ATM cards but most times we hear "there's no network" or "there's no paper in the machine". So please while the idea of cashless naija is a welcome change endeavour to always carry small cash, even if na 2k. #justsaying
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